Amelia, the most awesome and perfect Mary sue!
by Meepmeep123
Summary: We all know how horrible Mary sue's are. So I decided to write a story about one! Rated K for censored swearing.
1. Amelia loves Saytrs, and they love her!

**So I decided to write a Mary Sue story...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO! If I did, there would be way more Percabeth.**

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Not that long ago, in a land not that far away, lived a Mary sue named Amelia Sparkles maribella isabellino awesomeness rainbow sassifrass delfiano cupcakes sunshinez. But we'll just call her Amelia! YAY!

Amelia was the most beautiful, perfect Mary sue ever. Her smooth straight and shiny (and completely natural) violet hair cascaded down her back, like a My Little Ponies mane. Her eyes changed from all the colours of the rainbow, like a gorgeous kaleidoscope made for Amelia. She had no scars or bumps or anything on her skin, because then Amelia wouldn't be perfect, and we wouldn't want that, would we?

But Amelia didn't ask for the perfect life of a gorgeous Mary sue. She was an orphan, given to the worst orphanage ever (*sigh*), because she needed a tragic past. The orphanage treated poor, helpless Amelia like a servant, and she had no choice but to comply, instead of simply running away, standing up for herself, or crap like that. Ah, poor Amelia!

But one day, after a hard day of work serving people at the orphanage for 16 years, Amelia collapsed on her cot perfectly, in a way only perfect Mary sue's can do. She started crying little silvery tears of sorrow, that slid down her cheeks, but left no tear stains, because then her face wouldn't be perfect! But from behind Amelia, she heard a voice whispering, "Psst! We're here to take you away!"

Amelia turned around perfectly gracefully and told the person behind her softly and kindly, "SHUT UP! I'm having an emotional moment to signify how perfect I am!"

Amelia turned back around perfectly and finished crying the sparkling tears. She then turned around with wide perfect hot pink eyes and whispered, "Who are you?"

A dark shadowy figure stepped out of the shadows and answered, "I'm Nico Di angelo. I'm here to bring Russel the saytr to help you to camp."

Amelia fluttered her eyelashes perfectly and winked at everybody's favorite son of Hades. Nico felt himself drawn into her beautiful hot pink eyes, and became immediately in love with Amelia Sparkles maribella isabellino awesomeness rainbow sassifrass delfiano cupcakes sunshinez. He imagined himself picking her up and twirling her around and-

"Let's go guys", cried Russel the saytr. Amelia looked over perfectly at Russel and his completely imperfect little goaty legs and horns and said kindly and lovingly, "Screw the [censored for too much perfection] off! I'm luring the hot emo boy in so I can use him against everybody later!"

Russel was so touched by these words of love that he started crying tears of joy. He motioned for Nico to grab Amelia and take her back to camp without him, because he just wasn't perfect enough to be in her presence. He stuck up his middle finger at her, the saytr way of saying good-bye to loved ones.

And with that, Nico wrapped his pale arms around Amelia's perfectly tan ones, and disappeared into the shadows.

**Ah Amelia. I want to rip my eyes out for so much Mary sueness. R&R!**


	2. Amelia breaks up two ships perfectly

******Well, we're back ****with Amelia Sparkles maribella isabellino awesomeness rainbow sassifrass delfiano cupcakes sunshinez. Hurrah!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go plot about how to get the rights. Mwahahaha!**

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When Amelia opened her now perfectly gorgeous turquoise eyes, she found herself at in a campground. Like every good stereotypical Mary sue, she felt perfectly at home. Looking around, she saw at ton of people who, noticing her, came and clustered around her. Amelia, knowing that they were only there to worship her and her beauty and awesomeness, let them soak her in.

Suddenly, Amelia spotted a raven haired boy almost as perfect as normal, decent people come (but not nearly the same level of perfection as Amelia Sparkles maribella isabellino awesomeness rainbow sassifrass delfiano cupcakes sunshinez. Only the most perfect and awesome of Mary sue's can have almost the same level of perfection. And awesomeness.)

So Amelia said graciously and nicely to her adoring fans, "Bring me that boy! He will be mine!" And so because everyone loved her so much, they gang beat poor Percy into submission and brought him over to Amelia.

And still with a lovesick Nico's arms wrapped around her, she took Percy's face in her hands and mushed his face against hers. Perfectly.

A shrieking noise rang out from the mob that surrounded Amelia and the two boys. "That is my boyfriend", screamed an ugly girl with blonde hair that was nowhere as beautiful as Amelia's violet coloured own. She stormed through the crowd, but laying her disgusting grey eyes on Amelia, she stopped. No one could deny Amelia anything, because she was simply too perfect.

Amelia stopped perfectly sucking Percy's face for a second, enough time for him to turn to a distraught Annabeth and confess his undying love for the Mary sue.

"Annie", started a slightly oxygen deprived Percy, "You're nice and all, but..."

"But what", screamed a crying Annabeth.

"But Amelia Sparkles maribella isabellino awesomeness rainbow sassifrass delfiano cupcakes sunshinez is my one true love."

Annabeth ran away crying.

An angry Nico turned on Percy. "But Amelia is MY one true love! We were going to flit away together and live on a rainbow!"

Amelia gasped. "A rainbow! That's almost as perfect and beautiful as I am! OMGZ people, I think Nico's the one!"

Percy angrily turned on Nico. "No! Amelia is MY one true love! And to prove it", Percy turned and pulled a rainbow unicorn out of nowhere, "This is for Amelia! As a token of my affection! Even though it is nowhere as perfect and beautiful as you!"

Amelia gasped again, the kind of annoying gasp that you would just want to kill someone else for gasping. But Amelia was doing it so perfectly, no one noticed. Her eyes turned bright yellow, with joy. "OMGZ Percy! A unicorn! Even though it's not as beautiful and perfect as I am, I'll take it and name it Sparklez! After me! Tee Hee Hee! Percy might be the one!"

A random voice cried out from the crowd (it doesn't matter who, none of them were as beautiful or perfect as Amelia, so they are not important to our story, because only Amelia matters), " But which one is the one?"

Amelia's face narrowed in perfect confusion, without causing wrinkles (because that would be no longer perfect), causing the appearance of someone heavily botoxed. Which would never happen to Amelia. Because she was perfect in every way. Obviously.

Suddenly inspiration struck her, a plan better than anything Athena could come up with, and her eyes turned bright acid green.

"A competition", perfectly shrieked an excited Amelia Sparkles maribella isabellino awesomeness rainbow sassifrass delfiano cupcakes sunshinez, with a shriek that sounded like a musical note. "We'll use my competition to cover up my evil plan-ahem, struggle to decide who is the one!"

The crowd nodded like this was perfectly acceptable and reasonable. Which it was. Because Amelia had said it.

"Homever can bring me the best and most perfect present will win my undying and perfect affection! Tee Hee Hee! And that means anyone! Even... You!" Amelia perfectly pointed her beautifully manicured hand (which she'd done herself) at Travis Stoll, who'd just finished making out with Katie Gardener. Travis lept to his feet and cheered. Katie, leaping to her feet realizing what had happened, cried out, "You [censored for too much imperfection]! That was my boyfriend!"

Amelia looked at Katie and said softly and affectionately, "[Censored for too much sheer perfection] OFF WHORE! HE'S MINE NOW!"

Katie ran off in the same direction as Annabeth.

Amelia turned back to her adoring fans, and beamed perfectly at them with straight white teeth. "Now who's in charge of this place?"

**Poor Annabeth and Katie! I'm a Percabeth and Tratie shipper, but it had to happen. For Amelia. Perfectly. R&R!**


	3. Amelia makes Chiron sick

**Ah, Amelia. How I've missed your disgusting perfection! Sorry about the wait guys! But just for you, Amelia's back, and she gets to meet Chiron!**

**Disclaimer: I don't think Rick Riordan would ever write and publish someone like Amelia. That would... Just no.**

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Amelia was carried off on the shoulders of her adoring fans, in the direction of the big house. Beside her, Percy and Nico were locked in an intense staring contest, getting pushed along by the crowd.

When the crowd arrived at the big house, Chiron and Mr. D were playing a game of pinochle on the porch.

" CHIROOOOOON", yelled the crowd. The poor centaur twisted around quickly (Or as quickly as a centaur on a small deck can), looking for the source of the screams. When he spotted Amelia, riding on the shoulders of a crowd of screaming demigods, his expression resembled a mixture of shock and horror. But he quickly got over it, and put on a bright smile. Mr. D, seeing as if it was just the horrible children, scowled at them and went inside.

"And who is this", as Chiron kindly.

Amelia gave Chiron a bright white perfect smile, flipped her violet hair so it flowed down her back like a cascade of purple Kool-aid, and fluttered her long black eyelashes that framed her wide (now bright orange) perfectly round and luminously dazzling orbs. "My name is Amelia Sparkles maribella isabellino awesomeness rainbow sassifrass delfiano cupcakes sunshinez."

The entire crowd went wild, screaming, "AMELIA! AMELIA! AMELIAAAAA!"

Will Solace shouted from somewhere in the crowd, "MARRY ME AMELIA!"

Chiron resisted the urge to throw up.

"Well my dear, have you been claimed yet?"

Amelia's spherical periwinkle blue eyes filled with crystalline tears. "No Mr. Chiron, I haven't. That must mean that my parent doesn't want me, doesn't it? Ah, noooo!" Amelia began sobbing in her perfect way, that only she could.

Seeing as their idol/love interest/object of obsession was upset, the crowd converged around Amelia, murmuring comforting words. Unfortunately, since there were so many of them, it turned into a pity fest where everyone was yelling to be heard. Chiron almost screamed in frustration.

After waiting a good twenty minutes, Chiron yelled, "Okay! I'm sure you'll get claimed soon!"

Amelia's perfect head popped out from the middle of the pile of adoring demigods that had heaped on top of her in the attempt to be comforting. "Yaaaay", she squealed perfectly in glee.

Chiron flinched at the sound.

Once everyone had gotten off of her, Chiron began speaking again. "Now then, who can take Amelia to get situated in the Hermes cabin?" All the hands flew up, and a few put both up.

"How about", Chiron scanned the crowd, "Travis and Connor?" Travis and Connor both punched the air in excitement. Everyone else looked considerably sadder. A few Demeter girls began crying over the fact that they couldn't be in the same space and air that Amelia was breathing, for a little bit.

Travis and Connor each took one of Amelia's arms, each desperate to be closer to her than the other, and walked off towards the Hermes cabin.

Chiron sighed, and looked around at the chaos Amelia had caused. Multiple girls were sobbing about how they weren't best friends yet, and how they wanted to be, Percy and Nico were in an apparent duel to the death over her by the basketball courts, Will Solace and some other Apollo kids were composing poetry about her, several of Aphrodite's children were shrieking about new couples that could be made with Amelia, Some Hecate campers were talking about how to make spells and potions to bottle her beauty, and so on. Chiron couldn't look at it anymore. His entire camp, turned into worshippers over... Amelia. Just thinking her name left a bad taste in his mouth.

Suddenly, he felt his back being tapped. He twisted around, to find Annabeth, Katie and Rachel, all boiling with rage, standing behind him. "What is it", he asked them wearily.

"It's her!" Annabeth whispered angrily, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one was listening in. "She's horrible!"

"Yeah!" Katie agreed. "She tore Travis away from me! I mean, we were going steady, and then bang! She shows up!"

"And everyone is adoring her!"

Chiron turned to Rachel with interest. "And what, may I ask, is your involvement with all of this?"

Rachel shrugged. "I liked Percy and Annabeth together. And earlier today, I got told that Amelia would make a much better Oracle. So I want to mess her up."

"Yeah!"

Chiron turned all the way around and ushered them into the big house. After locking the door, he leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "Amelia is a monster."

"Let's kill her then!"

"Yeah! Send her back to Tartarus the hard way!"

Chiron shook his head. "No, she's not that kind of monster. She's much harder to kill."

Annabeth narrowed her eyes. "What is she then? I must have read about her _somewhere_."

Chiron took a deep breath before answering. "She is a... Mary sue."

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**Duh duh duuuuh! Please R&R! It'll make anybody happy! :)**


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